Snippets of Story - April

Sunday, 15 April 2012

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For the first time ever, I am joining in Snippets of Story - April, hosted by Katie, to share a few snippets from, The Crown of Life and even a few snippets from my long-forgotten story, Escape From Vanity! It was an enjoyable challenge to sift through many different sentences in my story, and find the ones suitable to share (and do a bit of editing to them along the way!). Also, I got to looking at the word document of Escape from Vanity which I haven't opened in ages. I did get to blushing at seeing how atrocious my first story was :), but it was fun all the same. I hope you enjoy!

        Flavius’ face loomed dark and fearful. She dared looking into his eyes, but she only saw eyes caved in with defeat and fear, hopelessness. She tried to let out a breath through her tightly clenched teeth, but she all of a sudden felt sick. In a flash she remembered the day when things had been different... so very different.
 -The Crown of Life 

          Really! You just want to get rid of me," Anthea wrinkled her nose, huffed at Valerius and stormed out of the peristyle, her face burning scarlet. An amused expression flickered on Flavius' face. "I had forgotten her tempers," he chuckled, "Just imagine living my whole life with that." Valerius smiled thinly, "She's always going to be a pretty child when it comes to life." 
- The Crown of Life

       It was a beautiful stallion. Silky brown, its muscles rippled with every movement, its lustrous black mane flowed down richly and thickly. Flavius stroked its silky neck, and lifted an eye up to his friend over the horse’s head. “Beautiful. Have you given him a name yet?” 
"He is Pollux," Valerius said.
-The Crown of Life

And she was fair and beautiful to behold, as liken to the jewels of silver glass by the shores of Asilda, a royal fragrance of the her mother's people. 
 -Escape from Vanity

The next day dawned gold, and joy filled the hearts of the company. The sun glowed through the leafage of the oak trees and sparrows chirped round and about them in a never ending chorus of joyful song.  - Escape from Vanity

“Worry not my sister. Why should they do that to us?’ asked Gwylin, “We are loyal maidens of the Lady. And I am only telling them that they need to keep their guard, or they will loose the Shield-maiden of Valdor from their grasp.”
  - Escape from Vanity

“Maybe you should consider a way you  know, a way of ease, a way of  strength," he said.
"But in weakness is there yet strength, " whispered Itheilda, and pressed the well-loved words to her heart. "Yet not in me," she added in a quivering voice.
"Then in who?" -Escape from Vanity

“Anthea,” Valerius broke in softly, “Do you ever wish there was something else to life?”
                  “What a silly question,” Anthea giggled, brushing a loose curl of her hair away from her laughing eyes, “There isn’t anything else. I thought you knew that. Perhaps you have studied too much study the philosophies of the Greeks and their atrocious ideas. They eventually weaken the body"; at least that is what Flavius told me yesterday when I quoted a verse from one of the ancient. Eat up your breakfast. It will get cold.”
                  Valerius sighed. “I am not hungry.”
- The Crown of Life

Cassia placed her hand under her son’s chin and gazed at him with a pride, mingled with an old grief. “Life sometimes demands that we don’t know all of its answers, son. Men have wasted their lives searching for unanswerable questions and answers. Perhaps it is better just to let things be. Let us live what there is in life with content and die at peace, having lived an honourable life. That’s what defines a well-lived life—honour, glory. The gods may deem such a life worthy and be merciful at the last.”
 - The Crown of Life

When she reached the atrium, Claudia found her father standing patiently by the statue at the pool, a smile gracing his tanned face. Her heart fluttered inside her chest as her eyes fell on Valerius standing by the older man, looking as though he would be pleased if the ground beneath him were to open up and swallow him away.
 - The Crown of Life

If she was not with Rosa learning the womanly arts, about the habits of good society, or working to fill her carved wooden chest with linens and tapestries for her future home, she was with Anthea. She was almost as inseparable as a twin, even though they were as different as the warm glow of summer is from the ice of winter. 
-The Crown of Life

Jesus said to him, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14: 6 (NKJV)

7 sweet note(s):

  1. This is a very interesting sneak-peek, Joy, thank you for sharing!

    I love to go through my old stories every now and then....it does make my face burn too though! :) What stories our younger selves could think up!

    And yet, what a blessed joy it is to see how far the Lord brings us on this journey, and teaches us, melts and forms our writing to His purpose.

    May Jesus bless you,
    April

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  2. These are very interesting snippets, Joy! :) It shows me some of the character's dispositions and the mood of the story. I think your main character would be an engaging personality. :)

    I liked the ones from your 'old' story too. :)

    Praying for you as the Lord brings you along in this way for Him;

    April

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  3. Just dropping a little note to say- I am now a happy follower of your pretty blog! :D

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  4. Dearest April,

    I am glad you enjoyed reading my little snippets of story :). It would be fun if you joined in too!

    It is good that Valerius (the main character) is coming out as an interesting character :); I like him a lot too. Aw, and the little snippets from my "old story"... I have to be honest in saying most of them I had to rewrite while putting them up on this post just because they had potential but were really bare otherwise until I edited them... so, yes, but I am happy you enjoyed them!

    Yes, looking at my early writings, I too blush at how my grammar was atrocious, my descriptions too weighed down and flooded with complicated adverbs and adjectives.

    But as you said, praise the Lord Jesus, that through this journey He teaches us so many things and it is wonderful to see how much the Lord has brought us through on that journey of writing. My, I can't wait to comment on your post soon and probably write my main answer in a post of my own!!

    Blessings in our dear Saviour,
    ~Joy

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  5. Dear Rachel,
    Welcome to my little blog! Thank you so much for your sweet comment, and for following too. It made me smile.

    Blessings in Christ,
    ~Joy

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  6. Dear Joy,

    I enjoyed this 'peak' at the Crown of Life and Escape from Vanity, very much! Thank you for sharing :). Isn't it amazing how much our writing changes over the years... at first we can't see what could possibly need changing, but years later, we could literally go back with a pair of scissors and chop and change dramatically! I look forward to reading the Crown of Life, Lord willing, in the future :).
    God bless you in this journey of writing!
    Love in Him,
    Maddy

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  7. Dearest Maddy,

    Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement. I am glad you enjoyed reading my little snippets :).

    Yes, it is amazing, isn't it! I used to think that my writing was quite good a few years back, and now I look at it and think "Ugh... did I really write that?" ...snip, snip, snip!!!!

    I look forward to letting you read The Crown of Life too, and I'd love to read one day your story, "My Lady", Lord willing, one day :).

    May the Lord Jesus bless you too!
    Love,
    ~Joy

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"Gracious words are like a honeycomb; sweetness to the soul and health to the body..." ~Proverbs 16:24

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